I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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