I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
4 words: hood of his car
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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