I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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