Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
