yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
