I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize