I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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