I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Michael Bay diarrhea
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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