Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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