Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
