So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
