these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
