Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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