I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
