last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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