David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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