Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
