i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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