already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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