Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
