I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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