Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
