Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
