dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
