So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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