Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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