Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
