so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
