so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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