Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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