I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
