She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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