Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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