When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
