Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
