i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The beer is more important than you right now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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