Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
