Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
