i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
