Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
