I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize