My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
