My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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