mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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