lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
