Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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