I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
