the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
