she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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