when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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