I'm passing your future prison.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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