if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
That reminds me...we need to get swords
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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