i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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