Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
