it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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