oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
