hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Vodka?
Forever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
