worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i've created a new STD.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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