found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
