If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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