Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
